Satire: Saqib Nisar starts guarding dam after retirement

Just 7,975,6 kilometres from the proposed site of the Mohmand Dam, retired chief justice Saqib Nisar has pitched his tent on the roof of his London apartment as per his never-forgotten pledge that after retirement, he would guard dams by living in a tent by the site.

“Dam is my life, and I cannot leave it unguarded and unprotected,” thundered the retired chief justice looking at this scribe during an interview at the rooftop of the luxurious apartment on Sunday.

When asked why he was living too far from the dam site, the retired chief justice swung into his suo moto rage, and said, “Are you questioning the jurisdiction of my imagination, vision and thoughts?”

“Had I been in in-service, I would have got you arrested. And now you can go. Interview adjourned till Monday morning.”

The scribe begged milord’s mercy but to no avail. Later, his attendant said it was milord’s dinner time and later on, he would take a siesta.

Came Monday morning, and this scribe was granted hearing.

At the outset, the retired chief justice said what was my interview about, and when told that it was about the dam, he smiled.

“Do you know why I smiled?” he asked the reporter.

“Only milord knows the best reason,” submitted the reporter.

“What kind of a reporter you are? Stupid. I miss the gem of journalism like Bhatti, Dogar, Sheikh, Kalasra, Araien, Rajput, Ansari, Jatt, Yousafzai, Baloch, Zardari, Leghari and so on. They knew about everything on the earth. Their talk shows fuelled my daily proceedings. And you, **** even don’t know why I am smiling. You are here to get mangoes (this is what he said in Punjabi)? Go and sell guavas (again in Punjabi).”
The scribe offered an apology which was instantly accepted.

Mr Nisar resumed the interview.

“Where do you work?”

“Sir, I’m from Pakistan and I wanted to know about your pledge you had made that you would guard the dam after retirement. Now, after retirement …” the scribe was interrupted.

“How can you say I’m retired? I’m now on another mission and that is to find another mission.”

And what about the protection of dams?

“Yes, that will continue. Can’t you see I’m living in a tent here and my all eyes are on the dam?”

The retired chief justice was optimistic about the future of dams that they would be built one day.

“Now, this is the job of our intelligent TV anchors to find that ‘one day’.”

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