Federal Minister for 5,000 Executions Faisal Vawda has started revealing the list of 5,000 people, who, according to him, should be hanged without trial for they are nuisance and corrupt. Our sources have access to the developing the list; we are shocked as well as amazed to disclose that the federal minister for 5,000 mass executions has decided to put his own name on the top of the list.
“The straightforward and forthcoming minister thinks that he himself be executed first, without even a summary trial, as it will help Pakistan become a better society,” our sources, who are close to the execution-loving minister, said quoting the minister as having said on Sunday.
According to the sources, the minister thinks a Pakistan without him would be free from a fair degree of awkwardness.
“The minister has admitted many a time that whenever he is in front of TV cameras he does know how words come to his mind and they are uttered from his mouth. He even does not know how this 5,000 execution gaffe was committed by him,” said the sources.
Faisal Vawda, who used to be a minister for water resources in the cabinet of Prime Minister Imran Khan, resigned from the portfolio last week after the prime minister watched a TV talk show where Faisal Vawda was talking about the executions so that Pakistan could be made a better place. The anchor turned pale. The prime minister, after watching the interview, asked Faisal Vawda to resign from the water ministry and become the minister for mass executions.
The modern-day Tara Masih minister is actively working on the list, which will be soon delivered to the prime minister.
So far, the list has just one name – Faisal Vawda.
Sources said that the minister for 5,000 executions would tell his visitors that his sacrifice should be remembered in the history books with golden words.
The visitors said that he should not worry about the history as Mutaala Pakistan books by the sarkari textbook boards would pay him glowing tributes. About his insistence on golden words, the visitors showed helplessness because of the growing prices of gold in the wake of high rates of dollar.
At this, the minister for 5,000 executions said that those who made dollar so expensive should also be hanged. With this, he wrote the second name on the list but soon deleted him.
Sources said that the second name was of the prime minister.
