Being a single woman in 30s is trouble


When you are tired on your birthday it indicates that you are actually turning thirty. Thirties brings you to cruel realities. The first few years are always the hardest. Things starts getting weird and you start acting strange. People are like, Hey, I am engaged, I am getting married and you are like Damn I am 30!!!

In a conservative society like Pakistan, it’s better for a single woman in thirties to be hit by a car or bomb. rather than tell someone that you are not married and they will condemn you both silently and socially. Some will call you Miss and some will call you Madam even the word “AUNTY” becomes very special in thirties. For some people you will become the most miserable and for some others the most unfortunate pitiful human being on the planet earth. A storm of sympathies will hit you without any safety alarms.

Whenever you go to a gathering, people will ask same question again and again, “OH DEAR WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?”, while you just smile back because there’s nothing to worry about when the situation is extremely hopeless. At the workplace, your coworkers try to guess your age in every lunch and tea break. In fact, your age becomes the topic of serious discussion on some tables as if it is a threat to national security. Some even give you advice on the benefits of getting married before the age of thirty and some self-claimed “SEX DOCTORS” highlights the importance of sex in your daily life. These people are the reason to develop a serious disliking for the idiots.

I know a Mother of four daughters; the eldest one turned 30 this year. She told me sadly, “Log bari beti ko daikhney aaty hain, pasand choti ko kar jaty hain kyun key uski umer 22 saal hai” Translation: “People come to see my eldest daughter but end up liking the youngest one because she is just 22”. According to Mr. Mian Mazhar, who is running a marriage Bureau in Lahore, people have a preference to marry girls under the age of thirty. He said that even in his marriage bureau he prefers not to register girls who are above the age of 28. When asked him the reason, he said that it’s very hard to find a good match for a woman of this age group. He also said that women in thirties are usually considered for second marriages. He further said that sometimes even women in thirties agreed upon becoming second wives.

The strangest thing about being in thirties is that you stop believing in LOVE. You stop waiting for Prince Charming and start waiting for a “REASONABLE HUSBAND”. A person falling in love in their thirties is the rarest thing I know. You don’t want to fall in love and you don’t even want someone to fall for you, you just want to get married and ruin someone’s life and yours as well. Some men will flirt you by Saying, “Hey Beautiful, does it take you thirty years to look this good but seriously you don’t look like your age.”, You will soon realize that not a single drop of you needs acceptance from them, because you only need acceptance from their “MOMS”.

A colleague of mine who is 35, told me that he wants to marry a girl of his age, but his mother won’t be agree for this. When I asked the reason, he said that his mother thinks that it’s very difficult to control women of this age group plus women in thirty faces a lot of fertility issues.  Well it’s an ugly truth of this society that young girls are forcibly married to men twice or thrice their age but a woman getting married in her thirties or marrying someone younger is so scandalous for us.

Unfortunately, in our society success of a woman is only measured by her marriage. If you are not married by thirty then you are a “BECHARI” (a poor soul) for many people around.  You see most of your friends getting married in your thirties and right after their marriages they start worrying about yours. Every single time you got a call from them they are like, “I feel so proud about your achievements, but seriously you should get married now. I don’t want you to turn into a psycho”. The ultimate goal of such married psychos is to recruit more and more people in their club of miseries.

Thirty sounds like a big joke until it happens to you. After 30 your body has a mind of its own. Everything you know, you learn after your thirties. Some days you feel like riding on the roller coaster of emotions and some days you feel nothing but numb. You start laughing on the things which once made you cry so badly, and suddenly you start feeling sad about the things which once made you happy. You start reacting to people and situations differently and sometimes so stupidly. You don’t have time to hate anyone, you either like something or you don’t care about someone at all. There is a saying that “Inside every 30-year-old is an         18-year-old asking, HEY, WHAT HAPPENED???” But in our society, it’s like “Around every 30-year-old woman, there is a bunch of idiots asking, “HEY, what happened? WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?”  To avoid such people, I am going to be twenty-nine, till further NOTICE!

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